Time for a update

I have not been on this blog in far too long. I have missed sprawling my thoughts out on here and reverting back to them as time passes.It is very healing for the soul to reflect on where you have been and where you know you need to go. As time has gone by for me over this past year i have grown and evloved so very much into having a more clearer kind of mind so to speak. My wants and desires have come forth unto what i have always wanted and i can now see the future for what i had hoped it would be.

I have grown as a wife and as a mother and its been hard and emotional and its been worth every tear drop I have had and every smile that has crossed my lips. I am a better person :)

Some days its not so easy to separate where you start and where the rest of the family ends. It seems us moms tend to get lost in the every day hustle and bustle of who wants this and who needs that. Husbands seem to come first also. I have seen the light you could say on this page in the big book of life.

We as moms need to take time and love for ourselves. Without us our home and family does not run as well as it could. Why is it so bad if we need a brake ? To say "fuck it" and walk out and go refresh our thoughts. fill our cup up with some new fuel.
I am by far not a religious person but I do believe in faith and I have to wonder why it is that we as woman and moms where born to have such a concience and to feel so guilty for everything we want or need but do not get because that sheild covers the way for us.
As you can see I have struggled with this for years and years. The guilt of just going down to get a coffee or just to sit at the park with no children so I can collect my thoughts. But today I sit here and tell you that I have a new outlook.

And I will start looking out for me and what I need to fill my love cup up with . That I am a person need and what I as a mother need to make a better place in this crazy, amazing world we live in .

Friends

What a year this has been. I have "met" so many awesome, passionate people online. Who would have thought even 2 years ago that i would be surrounding myself and my family with such warm people. It has been so helpful to support each other along this journey we are all taking.

I love seeing how others live and where they live. How they play and hang out with there families. What a world we live in to be able to share things like this with others from around the world.

I know some have opinions with children that are unschooled or homeschooled and that they may not be social enough. I shake my head and laugh.
I have a few thoughts on this.

How is it working for the children that are in school? Do these children get picked on? Do they get ridiculed? Shunned? What about the "cool"kids? Are they really happy?
My children may not be surrounded by 100's of children daily and i am so very thankful for this. They have friends across the world. The will learn to become good friends and listeners. They will cherish the times they do spend with there friends when they see them instead of fighting and with each other. What good times to be had <3

What really makes a friend anyway? Is it someone who "has" to be near you in the way of physical being? See i don't think this is so. I think its all about you feelings in your heart and your vibrations in your soul who you consider a true friend.
And I am so thankful that i have many of these friends . much peace and love to all of them <3

where the heart is

I have been trying to focus on our lives here in Maine and have found such wonderful new friends here ..but.... there is a huge BUT... My heart is not here. My mind is not here. I am homesick for the South. For the warm days with the sun shining on my face, for the whispering pines , for the friendly people . It just really goes on and on. (sonic kicks ass)
I guess I had some very unrealistic expectation when moving our family up here. I thought my feelings towards my family and my in laws would change and i thought theirs would also. I guess they have in the way that are supposed to. I have more clarity on tings and how both of our families work.
I have come to love how truly different we are then all of them. To embrace our differences and how we see life and raising our children. I am so very grateful that we did come back here and that it just makes our convictions even stronger in our day to day lives.
I am sad that my children suffer from all of this and that i can only stand with them and wipe there tears and know that there is a lesson in all of this. That it is ok to feel how you feel and to sit with it.
Home is where your heart feels in should be. Where you feel most comfortable. With the sun warming your face and love in your heart <3

food & children

I read something tonight on food and children. Should you make your child go with out if they chose not to eat what you put in front of them? Really this is sad. This is the problem today with parenting. Parents feel that they are better able to make even these decisions for there child. I'm sure that the parents feel they are doing what is right. After all that is what they are programed to do. You are programmed at an early age that children do not "know" what is good for them.
So really here is another way to look at this. Would you feed something to your husband or friend and say you can only have this to eat? Would you respect that your husband or friend would be able to make that chose on there own and if they chose not to eat it you wouldn't forbid them to not eat another thing or go hungry would you ? Then why would you not hold that same respect for your child?
I know most of the time it comes down to convenience for the parents. I don't want to make something different. Why?? What is more important then your child's needs? Would it take maybe 5 minutes to make something he or she wants? You should want to your child to learn to make and believe in there decisions not hinder them.

not my business

I have found a wonderful person that i have shared some time on the phone with. She has helped me realize a few things that i have been a little "stuck" on. After so many years of being the same way (in some things) , thinking the same way and feeling the same resentment it has been a freshing new way of looking at things. What a nice change to finally realize that what anyone does is none of my business.
For instance , take my husband doing something that i don't really care for. Well really it isn't any of my business because if im in his business then i am not really taking care of mine am I? I would not be in my own business 100% . I stepped back and truly looked at myself after this conversation and it was like a slap in the face. It was a very eye opening time for. I have always been so very stressed about what he was doing and why he wasn't doing this or that and why he wasn't doing it the way "i" wanted him to be. While all the time i was not fully being where i needed to be. In my OWN BUSINESS!!

small spaces

As i look around at our temporary home i see mess, clutter, dirt, ciaos, stuff. Then when i blink and shift my thoughts i see love, warmth, living, free, closeness, touch, sent, laughter, expressions, uniqueness, brightness, intelligencer, spirit, tolerance, caring, happiness, joy,togetherness.
I am thankful for this moment . I am grateful to be here and now. I am in love with my present place <3

~freedom~

What does freedom mean? I have thought of this many times over the past few weeks as some things have happened in our lives. I know when i was brought up we never had much and we were fairly poor but we did have one thing . That was manners and values.
I do not understand what has happened to this world today when you cant love your children and school them in a way that you have the right to without question and ridicule. How a person learns is such a private thing and one that should be left to oneself. Why is it that i love my children any less by having them home with me and enriching there lives with love and understanding? Letting them learn when they are ready.
I believe people are scared of what they do not know and when that coupled with them not having the desire to "learn" about it makes for a very misunderstood world. It takes just a few minutes to step back and ask a question about something and helps to make you more aware of others ways in this world.

I will end with this because it is perfect ~

‎"I have much to believe that a person's schooling is as much a part of his Private business as his politics or religion, and that no on should be required to answerer's questions about it" Jhon Holt

Our street ~

Austin

Nodin

Casey

Emily & Dylan have adjusted well to in-town living

new journey

We have started a new journey. We moved back to Maine. This is a trying thing because we have never unschooled here in our home state. We have found a few hurdles already but that is with family members. We have chosen to not have those in our life. We will surround ourselves with like minded people.

When have connected with a few wonderful people already. This blog will represent our daily life and all that we do:)

My Page - Fun Without School

 

wow its been that long

I can't believe how long its been since i was one here. We just always seem to be busy doing something. Our chickens are not doing very good. a bunch have died and now they seem to have mites . I have to go put this powder on them and there pen. Seems as though we may not be cut out for the farming thing:(

Billy & tilly are doing great. Tilly now has accepted Billy into her heart. They are now living happily in one house :)

I am very greatful for spring to be here. I am ready for new fresh flowers and growing our garden with love. There is so many things i hope to accomplish this spring and summer with this house. Just need a little more money ;)

Our worm compost is doing AWESOME.! Maybe we are meant to be worm farmers LOL.
The boys are doing great at Muay Thai . T=It is very good for Casey since he has yet to find many friends around here.
Nodin is doing well with things. I cant believe how much he is growing up. Its so fun to cuddle at night with him. This is one of my best times of the day. He is so cute and funny. Its just him talking and saying "i love you mumma"

Casey will start driving next week. Stay off the raods! LOL Its funny cuz he really could care less about getting his licencs . I have to agree that he is not ready either and im glad he knows what he wants.

Emily is learning about The Great Depression all on her own. That is the cool thing about unschooling. She has retained so much from what she has learned because it what she wanted to do.
Austin and Dylan really like Starfall and they do not realize they are learning to read :)
Our new absetion is SPore. Holly Molly my kids love this game. It is so neat.

exciting times

Well we have started our own business. Its a really neat thing and we have wonderful people helping us. I finally see change in our future, i see a chance to do what we want what we have dreamed of. I have decided to change things in my life and stop being lazy . (not physically but mentally) To do the things I keep saying i would to do or learn. To just get off my ass and do it!:)
Ok as far as the kids they are great. Nodin is much better from being sick. We have been reading about Greek Mythology and that's been interesting . We are very excited about things to come this summer with the garden. I am learning about Bee keeping. I don't think I will get to start that this year but I want to learn all I can before hand.
I have a question for anyone who wants to answere....
What do you think it too much for kids as far as chores go? Thanks to anyone who will give me there opinion :)

my comfy bed!

So we finally came home yesterday. Awwwwww the comfort of my bed. The hospital is just no place for rest! lol. The first night the nurse felt bad for me being all curled up in a fetal position around NOdin in his metal crib! I'm sure it was a sight. So the next day she brought in a youth bed. Now i am not a big person 5'3 size 7-8 but still its hard to find room on this bed either. BUt we did it. He was a sick little boy to say the least . So now he is feeling better BUT when we were in the hospital he got all his meds through the IV so now we have to give it to him by mouth and he wants no part of this. My cute little 2 year old boy turns into a hysterical creature!!!! He has learned to close his throat off and spit it all out. He has a very sensitive taste to things so he knows when i try to put it in his drinks. uggg. So now what. I will just keep trying.


On to My eldest son and his high school dilama. This girl is not a good match for him and I haven't ever met her. I talked to Casey and the only reason he wants to go back to that school is to be social. uhhhhh school is for learning did you forget that? He knows I dont want him to go back and doesn't want to disappoint me. I am just going to give it a few weeks and keep talking. I told him I want him to invite this girl over for dinner so we could meet him. Jeff has met her mother and her but I was at the hospital.

So now we are trying to figure out what to plant for the gardens. We have a limited amount of money right now (doesn't everyone!) so I need to figure out how much the dirt will cost. I plan to make mostly boxes because we don't have anyone to till the ground. The old barn here fell and 2 months ago and we have plenty of lumber to make the boxes with. The boys will have fun lugging it up while Emily will wait patiently while they do it! She is not one to work to hard. lol BUt she is a HUGE help with Nodin and keeping him busy.

Well that about it for life here on out Little e Peace of earth ... ohhh one more ting we had a death in the family. well actually 2 we had Pineapple the baby goat in with the chickens and someone (I wont tell who but it starts with the letter C) didn't take her out so laied on the little chickens :<